This is Watch Boarding House Hungry Wolves 2 Onlinenot how I wanted the women's pocket revolution to go.

On this sordid planet, there exists a brand called Alexo Athletica, which specializes in "active carry-wear." Don't get your hopes up, because that means exactly what you think it means: a $99 yoga pant made for carrying guns.

It's a huge shame, really, because women could use more (and larger) pockets, especially on our athletic apparel. We just don't need gunpockets.

Reader, it should go without saying that you should not keep your firearm or knife in your pants during yoga class. This idea literally sent shivers down my spine as I typed it, and now I will never go to a yoga class again.

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It should also go without saying that Tomi Lahren, known in some circles as Tempera Louboutin, is promoting this product.

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Please, can I just have a pocket big enough for my wallet and, like, some gum? That's "gum" with an m. Not "gun." Thank you.